You are not owned by anyone. The BGSE Principle is a simple test that instantly reveals when someone is trying to manipulate or control you. It cuts through emotional manipulation with pure logic, helping you recognise that you have the right to say no without guilt.
When someone makes demands on you, ask yourself:
The answer is NO. They don’t own you — so they have no right to demand anything from you.
Nobody owns you. Nobody owns your love, your life, your time, or your affection. You can give those things to whoever you choose. It’s your decision alone — not theirs, no matter what they’ve done for you or how long you’ve known them. You don’t owe anyone anything.
Therefore: You own it and can control its life.
Therefore: You don’t own them and cannot control their life.
The four questions establish the fundamental truth: nobody owns you. Once you know this, you can apply it to whatever demand someone is making on you.
When someone tries to manipulate you, remind yourself: they don't own you — so they can’t control your choices, your time, your body, your emotions, or your life decisions.
"You can’t go travelling, we need you here."
They don’t own you — they can’t control where you go or when.
"You’re being selfish by not visiting more."
They don’t own your time — you decide how often to visit based on your life. (Why you don’t have to explain yourself)
"After all we’ve done, you owe us grandchildren."
They don’t own your body — reproductive choices are yours alone.
"You’re wasting your education — think of the money we spent."
They don’t own your future — past investment doesn’t entitle them to control.
"If you really loved us, you’d break up with them."
They don’t own your heart — your relationship is your choice, not theirs.
You are not a repayment plan. Love is not a debt.
The BGSE Principle came from trying to explain to someone why they couldn’t control their adult daughter like they controlled their dog. The breakthrough was recognising that people often treat family like possessions — expecting the same control they have over things they actually own.
They don’t own you — so they can’t control your friendships, career, or goals.
They don’t own you — so they can’t demand constant availability or override your needs.
They don’t own you — so they can’t demand you sacrifice your personal life beyond reason.
You are not responsible for managing other people’s emotions about your autonomous choices. The BGSE Principle helps you maintain this crucial boundary by providing logical clarity when emotions run high.
The four questions prove nobody owns you. Once you know this truth, you can confidently protect your autonomy without guilt — because you are not owned by anyone.