Understanding Your Energy System
Not everyone is wired the same way. Understanding your energy system — and others' — can prevent conflict and help you make better life choices.
High-Energy Systems
Some people are naturally wired for high output and stimulation. High-energy people typically:
- Need novelty, challenge, and growth to feel fulfilled
- Get restless and depressed when understimulated
- Find routine and predictability draining
- Require mental and physical engagement to feel balanced
- See change as exciting
- Feel energised by taking on new challenges
When understimulated, they experience:
- Physical restlessness and tension
- Mental fog and depression
- Feeling like they’re "wasting away"
- A desperate need to escape familiar environments
Low-Energy Systems
Other people are naturally wired for stability and conservation. Low-energy people typically:
- Find comfort in routine and predictability
- Feel overwhelmed by too much novelty or change
- Prefer familiar environments and known quantities
- See change as potentially threatening
- Need stability to function well
- Feel energised by maintaining rather than pursuing
When overstimulated, they experience:
- Anxiety and overwhelm
- Desire to retreat to familiar comfort zones
- Feeling like change is too much
- Need for stability and routine to rebalance
The Mismatch Problem
Conflicts arise when people with different energy systems try to impose their needs on each other:
High-energy person to low-energy: "You’re too comfortable — you need to grow and take risks!"
Low-energy person to high-energy: "You’re too restless — you need to settle down and be content!"
Neither is wrong — they just have different operating systems.
Know Your System
Understanding your natural energy system helps you:
- Make life choices that work with your nature, not against it
- Stop judging yourself by others’ standards
- Choose environments and relationships that support rather than drain you
- Recognise when conflicts are about different wiring, not character flaws
The Key Insight
Your energy system isn’t a choice — it’s how you’re built. The choice is whether you honour it or fight against it. Work with your wiring, not against it.